How To Co-Parent Successfully in Your Separation or Divorce!

How To Co-Parent Successfully in Your Separation or Divorce!

This probably comes as no big surprise:  when you can co-operate with your former spouse in parenting your children, you can reduce as much as possible the negative effects of your separation and divorce on your children.

Hi, my name is Thomas O’Malley.  I’m an experienced family lawyer in Durham Region and the GTA.

When you follow these important steps in co-parenting in your separation or divorce, you can create better and more successful lives for your children:

1.   Resolve conflicts without putting your kids in the middle.

This requires being objective about your children’s needs and not confusing them with your own as well as compromising when the situation requires it.

2.  Treat the other parent with respect.

This goes a long way toward easing your relationship with your former spouse.  It also provides a good model for your children.  More than we are willing to admit, our children imitate our behavior.

Disrespect toward the other parent will be played out by the child.  It’s important for a child’s healthy development for authority figures, including both parents.

3.  Observe appropriate boundaries.

When it comes to your kids, it’s sometimes difficult to tell yourself what they are doing with the other parent “is none of my business.”  But if an activity won’t harm them either physically or psychologically, it probably is none of your business. 

Recognize that it’s OK, maybe even good, for children to learn different ways of doing things.  It’s almost certain that the other parent won’t do everything your way.

4.  Communicate regularly with the other parent.

There’s a lot to share.  When children are small, the other parent needs to know the basics when parenting responsibilities are being transferred.  Has the child eaten?  Gone to the bathroom lately?  Do they need more sleep or a bath? 

When children are older, both parents need to know about school activities, sports events and trips out of town.  It’s good to get into a regular habit of checking in with each other on the days the parenting is shared. 

A worst possible scenario is that lack of communication could lead to a child not being picked up after school or day care, or important medical treatment being disrupted.

5.  Demonstrate positive conflict resolution.

Don’t necessarily try to hide conflicts when they arise.  Children generally know more about what is going on than we give them credit for.  Use conflict as an opportunity to show kids how to resolve issues in a responsible manner.

I discuss some key advice on successful co-parenting in your separation or divorce in another video.

If you have any questions about your separation, divorce or family law case and you would like our help, there’s a few ways to contact our office. 

You can leave a message on my Facebook law office page, visit my website at www.canadiandivorcelegaladvice.com, or call me directly at 905-434-8837.  We would be happy to speak to you.

Oh, by the way, did you know you can protect your family law rights and get essential information on settling your family law issues with your former spouse with the daily indispensable family law advice and tips at my FREE Facebook group? 

Click here for more information: Durham Region Separation and Divorce Legal Support Group  

Thanks for watching this video.