How To Co-Parent Your Children Successfully in Your Separation or Divorce-Part Two!

How To Co-Parent Your Children Successfully in Your Separation or Divorce-Part Two!

Suppose you could just get along with your former spouse to successfully co-parent your children.

Is that even possible?

Hi, my name is Thomas O’Malley.  I’m an experienced family lawyer in Durham Region and the GTA.

It certainly is possible and even likely when you follow certain steps so that you can co-parents your kids successfully.

I outlined some of these steps in another video.  Here are some more key steps to successful co-parenting in your separation or divorce:

1.   Share with your former spouse what you need from them to do a good job of parenting.

For example, you can make sure that the other parent knows that a regular schedule is important to you.  A parent likes to know they have time they can count on with their children.  Frequent schedule changes are disruptions to you and your children. 

Your former spouse might, for example, want to make sure that you pick up the children when you say you will pick them up.

Be sure to be clear with the other parent about what you need for smooth parenting and take time to inquire about they need for smooth parenting as well.

2.  Don’t allow all of the parenting tasks to fall to one parent.

Typically, things that are out of balance don’t work well.  Work at sharing parenting tasks as equally as possible. 

Don’t expect the other parent to be in charge of all communicating, all of the extra purchases for your children, or all of the discipline.

3.  Be consistent in caring for your children.

This makes transitions from one household to another easier, thus reducing the outbursts from children after visits with the other parent. 

Respect each other’s parenting approaches, and recognize that while consistency is optimal, differences are OK.  Children are able to distinguish that something that’s OK at dad’s house may not be OK at mom’s house, not because one parent is bad or wrong, but because the two parents are different.

4.  Help your children recognize the other parent with appropriate gifts of cards.

These express your children’s sentiments, and makes them feel good about themselves when they’re praised for their thoughtfulness.  Take the time to help your children make or pick out holiday and birthday gifts for the other parent.

Recognizing Mother’s and Father’s Day is particularly important because other relatives aren’t involved in celebrating these days.

5.  Don’t punish your in-laws by keeping your kids from them in a separation or divorce.

Your in-laws are probably as disappointed as you and your former partner about the end of your relationship.  Grandparents can be a child’s greatest cheerleaders.  Don’t hurt your children and yourself by cutting off visits with them. 

You can give no greater gift to your children in your separation or divorce than getting along with your former partner as much as possible in raising your children respectfully and reasonably with successful co-parenting.

If you have any questions about your separation, divorce or family law case and you would like our help, there’s a few ways to contact our office. 

You can leave a message on my Facebook law office page, visit my website at www.canadiandivorcelegaladvice.com, or call me directly at 905-434-8837.  We would be happy to speak to you.

Oh, by the way, did you know you can protect your family law rights and get essential information on settling your family law issues with your former spouse with the daily indispensable family law advice and tips at my FREE Facebook group? 

Click here to find out more: Durham Region Separation and Divorce Legal Support Group