The Secrets to “Winning” Your Separation or Divorce in Ontario: It’s Certainly Not What You Think It Is!

The Secrets to “Winning” Your Separation or Divorce in Ontario: It’s Certainly Not What You Think It Is!

Everything you may have heard about “winning” your separation, divorce or family law case is mostly likely wrong!

I’m going to reveal to you in this video and the next one some serious misconceptions about going through the separation and divorce process in Ontario and what “winning” really means for a spouse getting separated or divorced.

Hi, my name is Thomas O’Malley.  I’m an experienced family lawyer in Durham Region and the GTA.

Here’s are some serious misconceptions about “winning” in your separation and divorce in Ontario:

1. You demand to “win” in your separation or divorce!

You have to understand that your separation or divorce is not a “winner take all” proposition. 

Many former spouses want to win at all costs in their separation or divorce as a result of the serious emotional issues, trauma and drama they have endured their marriage or long-term relationship.

That’s actually quite understandable, given a tough and difficult separation or divorce.

However, you have to review the nature of every important legal issue in your situation.  There is no true “win” or “loss” in family law issues since the outcome is based on a number of factors in Ontario family law.

For example, one spouse can very rarely make sure that the other spouse does not see their children.  In most cases, both parents will have parenting time with their children.  A true “win” in child custody, access or parenting time cases is that each parent has a reasonable amount of time with their children based on the best interests of their children.

You often hear a spouse say that their best friend’s sister kept the house and her pension was not touched or that their cousin had their children living with them on a full-time basis.

You cannot simply determine what happened in these situations based on the results alone.  Each situation has its own set of facts, circumstances and personalities.

For example, a client could tell their lawyer that his friend is only paying $800 a month in spousal support while their lawyer is telling them that they have to pay $1500 a month in spousal support to their ex-spouse.

Here’s the catch:  The client doesn’t realize that his friend makes $50,000 more a year than him which explains why his friend is paying more spousal support.

Again, each case is fact specific. 

Separation and divorce outcomes are based on a reasonable range of outcomes rather than a “winner-take-all” approach.

2. You get to show the world that your ex-spouse is a rotten person!

Many spouses want to show to the world their ex-spouse is a jerk and a terrible person.

However, the separation, divorce and family law process in Ontario is not set up to show that your former spouse is a terrible person.

The purpose of Ontario family law is to deal with parenting time and decision-making for your children based on what’s in the best interests of your children, determine child support and spousal support, and deal with the property issues.

But you say that you have to show that your spouse is a bad person.  However, that’s simply not the purpose of Ontario family law.   Ontario family law is not interested in judging the character of separated spouses.

It’s not that the moral issues and personal issues in your situation are not important.  However, Ontario family law is not the place to deal with these issues.

You need to get the support of your friends and family members to deal with the moral issues in your situation. 

In fact, I often recommend a spouse gets personal counselling to deal with the difficult emotional issues in getting separated or divorced.

Your lawyer should understand absolutely that you have had or are having a tough time with your separation or divorce.  They should support you as best they can.

However, you need to know that to really win in your separation or divorce means that you get a solid outcome based on the principles of Ontario family law.  Your lawyer should advise you on the legal outcome of your case in thorough detail.

You deal with the emotional aspects of your separation or divorce by having an excellent support network of friends and family members and a great personal counsellor.

Make sure you spend some time discussing these important issues with your family lawyer in your separation or divorce.

If you have any questions about your separation, divorce or family law case and you would like our help, there’s a few ways to contact our office.  You can leave a message on my Facebook law office page, visit my website at www.canadiandivorcelegaladvice.com, or call me directly at 905-434-8837. 

We would be happy to speak to you.

Oh, by the way, did you know you can protect your family law rights and get essential information on settling your family law issues with your former spouse with the daily indispensable family law advice and tips at my FREE Facebook group? 

Click here to find out more: Durham Region Separation and Divorce Legal Support Group  

Thanks for watching this video.