If I could show you how to get an amicable separation and divorce, would that interest you?
It’s certainly possible to get an amicable divorce, but it’s no easy task. I can guarantee you that.
What are the Advantages of an Amicable Divorce?
There are only two ways to deal with your separation or divorce: (1) You solve the important family law issues with a written agreement or (2) you go to family court to solve your legal issues.
When you work with an experienced family law lawyer, he will advise you on whether you can get a separation agreement with your former spouse or you should go to family court.
When you work on negotiating a separation agreement, you can avoid expensive legal costs. Court is generally much more expensive than negotiating a family law settlement outside of court.
Plus, this does not even take into account the emotional toll of going to court. Many spouses in court endure serious frustration and anxiety in trying to resolve their family law issues. Who needs this stress and anxiety when you can work on a separation agreement and avoid court?
More importantly, an amicable divorce makes the separation and divorce process much less painful and difficult for your children. Your children are often the real victims in a separation or divorce. Children are terrified about what will happen to then when their parent are separating. When you can show your children that you and the other parent are working hard to maintain a stable home for them even you are separating, you ease your children’s anxiety and stress to a very large degree.
The Emotional Side of an Amicable Divorce
Let’s think about this for a moment. How many relationships and marriages end because both spouses want to end the marriage at the same time? Not too many!
Put another way, generally one spouse is the driving force behind the end of the marriage. When this happens, the spouse who wants the divorce must act with compassion and understanding if they want a friendly or amicable divorce.
If you don’t act in a compassionate and understanding manner when you are the one who wants the divorce, you will face a hostile or adversarial end of your marriage. That should not be a surprise!
You have to realize that your spouse’s world is collapsing around them when you have decided to end the marriage. You have to comfort the other spouse and act reasonably and fairly towards them as much as possible to get an amicable divorce.
How an Amicable Divorce Can Turn Into a Divorce Conflict
Or Family Court Battle
You can turn an amicable or friendly divorce into a divorce battle when you are involved in certain types of activities.
For example, if you are cheating on your spouse, you will find it much more difficult to get an amicable divorce.
Many spouses make the mistake of dating another person during the separation and divorce process. Your former spouse in most circumstances will be very unhappy, if not hostile, that you are dating another person at this time.
When you start using the joint line of credit to make large purchases after you have separated from your spouse, you can almost guarantee your spouse will be very angry with you.
If you take most of the money out of any joint bank accounts, you cannot expect your spouse to be happy with you and give you an amicable divorce.
You need to provide full financial disclosure to your spouse to have any chance of an amicable divorce. Do not play games with your spouse and hide your assets. You won’t get anywhere with this underhanded approach.
As the saying goes, you get more bees with honey than vinegar. You cannot expect to get an amicable divorce when you treat your spouse with emotional, verbal or physical abuse before, during or after your separation.
You must treat your spouse with compassion and respect during the separation and divorce process. When you treat your spouse fairly and with compassion, they will usually seeand understand that you are treating them fairly. Then your spouse in most cases will respond in the same manner by treating your fairly so that you can get a written agreement that settles your family law issues
Here’s another important point: You must do the best you can for your children during this very difficult time in their lives. Your children only deserve the best understanding and compassion from you. Again your spouse will see that you are treating your children fairly and this will encourage your spouse to give you an amicable divorce.
Why A Spouse Must Take Care of Their Spouse
To Get An Amicable Separation and Divorce
You must act fairly and reasonably with your former spouse if you want to get an amicable divorce.
You must ensure you are acting fairly with your spouse in the following areas to get your friendly separation and divorce:
- What are the child custody arrangements?
You have to carefully examine the best custody arrangements for your children. You must act totally fairly with your former spouse.
You cannot expect to stay out of court and get an amicable divorce if you try to dominate all the decisions about your children.
Presumably, your spouse has been involved in your children’s lives to a large degree. In these circumstances, both parents should have equal decision-making about the important issues in your children’s lives.
- What are the access arrangements?
You have to create an access schedule that ensures that each parent has much access to your children as possible. You should take into the ages of your children since a fair and reasonable access plan does not necessarily look the same for children under six years of age compared to children over ten years of age.
You have to take into account each parent’s work schedule and lifestyle when you are creating this visitation schedule. You must also consider the sports and other activities in which your children participate, such as scouts and music lessons.
- Are you paying the right amount of child support to your spouse?
This is where the rubber hits the road. You are much more likely to get an amicable divorce when you are paying the right amount of child support to your spouse.
What is the right amount of child support? You have to pay a specific amount of child support based on your gross annual income and the number of children pursuant to the Ontario Child Support Guidelines.
Many people think that you pay child support based on your take-home pay. This is simply wrong. You pay child support based on full annual income before deductions for income tax, employment insurance, and CPP.
When you are paying the right amount of child support to your former spouse, you are moving in the right direction to get an amicable divorce!
As you study every word of this article, you will quickly realize you need the help of an experienced family lawyer to get an amicable separation and divorce.
- Are you paying the right amount of spousal support?
When you much more money than you spouse and you have been married for more than five years, you will probably have to pay spousal support to your wife.
This is another potentially explosive issue. However, you must be reasonable and pay an adequate amount of spousal support if you want an amicable divorce.
When you meet with an experienced family law and divorce lawyer, he will give you solid advice on how to approach this important topic with your former spouse.
You get this type of solid and reliable family law advice when you come to your initial consultation with Thomas O’Malley, a dedicated divorce lawyer. Call him today at 905-434-8837 to set up your first meeting with him. This meeting is a must-have to protect your family law rights and get an amicable divorce.
- Are you keeping your spouse on your benefits plan with your employer?
You must keep your spouse on your health, dental and drug benefits plan with your employer if you want to get an amicable divorce. How can you expect to get an amicable divorce when you have cut off your spouse from getting these important benefits?
- What will you do with your home?
Clearly, your home is your most valuable asset in most cases. You must have some thoughtful discussions with your spouse on what you want to happen with your home.
You might let your spouse continue to live in the house for a reasonable period of time until they figure out what they want to do and where they want to live in a few months. This shows some serious goodwill to your spouse for getting an amicable separation and divorce.
However, at a certain point in time, you and your spouse will have to decide what happens to your home. You are both entitled to get your equity out of the home.
What happens to your home can be a delicate issue in your discussions with your spouse. Be sensitive and compassionate with your former spouse when you are discussing this very important topic.
- Have you figured out you and your spouse will pay your debts?
Many families, unfortunately, have a fair amount of debts. You must sit down with your spouse and determine who will pay your debts and how much of the debts will be paid on a monthly basis.
- What will happen to the vehicles?
If your spouse is driving a particular vehicle on a regular basis and the vehicle is registered in your name, you should seriously consider transferring ownership of this vehicle to your spouse. This will certainly help you get an amicable divorce with your spouse.
Are you beginning to see how many issues you must seriously consider toget an amicable divorce? It’s certainly not as easy as you thought. That’s for sure!
When you have consulted with an experienced family law and divorce lawyer, you need to get this lawyer to prepare a carefully-drafted separation agreement to set out all the terms that you and your spouse have agreed upon. This separation agreement should deal with the critical family law issues discussed above.
Getting your spouse to sign a fair and reasonable separation agreement really is the key to an amicable divorce.
Just picture a few months from now you have a signed separation agreement in your hands. You can now truly plan for your future and move on with your life! Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?
To get started on getting this separation agreement you need to get your amicable divorce, call Thomas O’Malley, an experienced divorce lawyer, today at 905-434-8837.
The Actual Amicable Divorce Process
When you have negotiated a separation agreement with your spouse, you can then get a divorce without worrying about full-blown court battle.
You only have a divorce battle on your hands when you have not settled your family law issues, including child custody and access, child support, spousal support, and your property issues, with a written agreement or separation agreement.
When you have signed a separation agreement with your spouse, you can simply complete a divorce application to get a divorce from your spouse. Your spouse cannot slow down or interfere with your divorce application since you have resolved your outstanding family law issues in a signed separation agreement.
In fact, you can even get a joint divorce application in which you and your spouse co-operate and complete a divorce application together.
When thirty days has passed after you have served your divorce application on your spouse, you complete an affidavit of divorce and file that document with your local family court.
You must ensure that you have adequate child support arrangements since a judge can delay your divorce until you have made the proper child support arrangements.
At this point you know it’s time to hire an experienced family law and divorce lawyer to help you get an amicable divorce.
But more importantly you can now avoid the stress and expense of court by negotiating a separation agreement with your spouse.
To start working on your amicable divorce, call Thomas O’Malley, an experienced and dedicated family law and divorce lawyer, today at 905-434-8837. Now is the perfect time to start moving on with your life with an amicable divorce.